Who Is My Neighbor?

“And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?” And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” And he said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.” But he, desiring to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”” [Luke 10:25–29 ESV]

“Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.” [Romans 13:10 ESV]

“If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing well.” [James 2:8 ESV]

“How seldom we weigh our neighbor in the same balance as ourselves.”

–Thomas à Kempis

This is a bit of wisdom credited to a saint in the early church: “Preach the gospel at all times, and if necessary use words.” Now, I have heard people justify that words are not needed to share the gospel, that just by our good example and by supposed osmosis others will be converted to Christ. However, our Lord and Savior did both. He preached the gospel message, reasoned with His enemies, and talked about how to apply God’s wisdom in all matters of life. Jesus also illustrated by His perfect life that the impact our attitudes and actions have on others is often more weighty than mere words. There was a perfect harmony between his speech and acts of love. He proved His words true in action, setting the ultimate example of the perfect love of God borne out and accomplished on the cross. The Apostle John, likewise, instructs in his first letter: “Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” [1 John 3:18 ESV]

“Who is my neighbor?” The scripture cited at the beginning of this post in Luke chapter 10 goes on with Jesus answering the Jewish lawyer with this parable:

“Jesus replied, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.’ Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” And Jesus said to him, “You go, and do likewise.”” [Luke 10:30–37 ESV]

So, how do we love our neighbor in speech and in deed? What are some practical applications? Several things come to my mind, so let’s explore each one to see how we can love God with our whole heart, soul, mind, and strength while loving our neighbor as ourselves.

My first thought comes to the political climate in this country. We are very divided, with some in so-called “Christian” circles preaching that if you vote a certain way, you will be damned to hell. This is not loving. It is manipulative. Does Jesus say, “Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me [and votes correctly] has eternal life?” NO! That is adding to God’s Word! [John 5:24 ESV] I remember receiving a very calculated email one day that claimed our eternal destiny is determined by how we vote on abortion. It clearly indicated our eternal future was at stake.

First of all, I am against abortion, but to use this type of intimidation and coercion made me very angry because if I vote with my eternal destiny hanging in the balance, I am motivated by fear and self-interest instead of love. Secondly, do I or any of us need to vote based on one or two moral choices? What if the person running for office supports a pro-life stance, yet lives like the devil? Apparently the person voting based on a truly moral choice will feel like he or she is caught in a double bind. What if the person running for office has an upstanding record and so-so character, but is a terrible leader? I hope we realize that a president of the United States has the launch codes for our nuclear arsenals. What if the person running for office by outward appearance has a great character, a charismatic presence, and the marks of a great leader? Remember Hitler? What if that person is the antichrist? “And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. Their end will correspond to their deeds.” [2 Corinthians 11:14–15 ESV] My plea in all this is to not view any one political party as “good” or “evil” “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” and “Enter not into judgment with your servant, for no one living is righteous before you.” [Romans 3:23 ESV; Psalm 143:2 ESV] We can most assuredly ask ourselves: “Is a Democrat my neighbor? Is a Republican? Yes, both are and we need to be respectful of and civil to others regardless of our political stance instead of treating each other like sworn enemies. Someone who does not hold to biblical teaching is not an enemy–they are the mission field!

Speaking of enemies, let’s delve into another area in which many Christians struggle. You may view your “enemy” as an estranged family member, any bitter and argumentative opposing group, or your co-worker who always gets promoted over you. But notice that these are all personal peeves. In the first case, an estranged family member has at its root the sin of unforgiveness. Conflict between opposing groups has at its crux pride. And the co-worker scenario has its base in envy. These types of people are not our “enemies” because of our own heart’s sin. Jesus, on the other hand, described our enemies as those who mistreat us, gossip about us, and persecute us solely because we identify with Christ and bear the name of Jesus. The apostle Peter wrote about this:

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a meddler. Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name. … Therefore let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.” [1 Peter 4:12–16, 19 ESV]

How many of you rejoice because you share in Christ’s sufferings? I know two men who handled mistreatment because they bore the name of Jesus in the workplace in diametrically opposite ways. One was ridiculed and ostracized by his coworkers almost daily. He was miserable. I overheard him tell his father one day that he wished all these enemies would rot in hell. I was shocked to hear this coming from another believer! For I knew the Lord’s word that we should love and pray for our enemies and do good to those who mistreat us. [Mat 5:44-48] Paul instructs the church in Rome:

“Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” [Romans 12:17–21 ESV]

The other man was also ridiculed at work for his faith. But he bore the unkindness shown to him by praying for their salvation, taking an interest in their lives, listening to their problems, always returning good for evil. You know what? After a time, he became one of the most respected men at his workplace. People started listening to him when he shared the gospel because his words and actions were always kind and loving. Which man can you relate to? If you are struggling with this type of situation, please know the Lord can turn the tables if you pray for His strength, wisdom, and mercy and follow the exquisite humility Jesus showed His enemies who nailed Him to the cross: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” [Luke 23:34 ESV]

The third area we can practice neighborly love is in the family. Your wife or husband is your neighbor, beloved. So are your children. So are your parents. I think in a family setting we see the flaws of the other magnified because we are firsthand witnesses of each other’s behavior every day. Speaking of this, do you gossip about your spouse to others, betraying their trust? “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.” [Proverbs 11:13 NIV] It is unfair to our loved one who confides in us their deepest fears or struggles, only to have them repeated and throw them into a bad light in other people’s eyes just because we are angry with them or don’t like what they did. Instead, husbands and wives need to honor each other in unfeigned love. We can honestly speak well of them and quickly forgive a wrong or hurt. We can honor them by our actions, expressing our love in deeds fitting a lifelong partner and friend.

I remember a story retold about a elderly couple who had been married some 40 years. The wife had Alzheimer’s, and lived in a skilled nursing facility. Her husband would come and visit her every day, and every day she would ask him, “Who are you?” because she could no longer remember his face or name from day to day. A member of the staff at the nursing facility observed the two of them each day, and after one visit he approached the elderly man and asked, “Why do you visit your wife every day when she doesn’t even know who you are?” Her husband said, “Yes, but I know who she is.” That is true love!

And this neighborly love principle can be applied to our children, too: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” [Ephesians 6:4 ESV] And children, your parents are your neighbors as well. How do you treat them? “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise)…” [Ephesians 6:1–2 ESV]

Please know I am NOT saying we shouldn’t ever speak of ongoing sin issues in a marriage or family within the context of pastoral counseling. Women and children especially should never hide abuse but rather seek the help of a trusted friend or adult. And, of course we shouldn’t “make up” good things to say about another, as this would be dishonest and false flattery.

A fourth area that I will touch on is being a neighbor to those of a different culture or ethnicity. At a time when hate crimes are becoming more common, and race relations can be tense, it’s good to remember to be a neighbor. Anyone who claims to be a Christian but hates another just because they are black, white, Asian, Hispanic, Muslim, or Jewish–any culture–is not walking in love: “Whoever says “I know him” but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him, but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him: whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.” [1 John 2:4–6 ESV] Anyone who thinks that their own race is superior to another and so justifies his or her hatred of another should pause to think that Heaven will be populated with people from all over this world: “After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!”” [Revelation 7:9–10 ESV] If someone hates another based on their skin color or heritage here on earth, they certainly could not stand to be part of God’s multinational family in Heaven!

There is a final area I’d like to step into, albeit gingerly: How are we to treat the LGBTQ+ community? I will admit that it is hard for me because these types of relationships and lifestyles run contrary to nature and are expressly called sin in the bible: “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.” [1 Corinthians 6:9–10 NKJV] However, isn’t a gay or lesbian one of our neighbors, just as much as the fornicator, adulterer, sodomite, thief, covetous, drunkard, reviler, and extortioner? Several years ago, there was a situation that made the news about a Christian couple who discovered their waitress was a lesbian. They stiffed her a tip because they felt somehow it would show support for her lifestyle. They wrote on the bill, “Can’t tip somebody who doesn’t love Jesus.” I even recently heard a pastor say he told the baristas at a coffee house sponsoring a drag queen event that he was indignant over this and would not patronize their establishment any longer because it would be showing support for this lifestyle. He walked out to many looks of disdain.

Now, that being said, I recently saw a truck with a huge logo on it that said, “Naked Threesome IPA.” I’m like, what? That is not something you should unashamedly advertise. I looked it up, and it turned out to be a beer made of three different kinds of hops, so I guess the brewery was trying to be cute. No blush, either. Would I buy this beer? Absolutely not, because I know it is an immoral sexual play on words and wouldn’t want to be seen with any logo about a naked threesome or people would wonder if my faith is genuine! But I would most certainly pray for its makers and not view them with disgust. Brothers and sisters, the United States is a mission field!

Regarding the Christian couple at the restaurant and their conundrum, I am thinking we would then, to be consistent with our logic, not tip an alcoholic, or a divorced and remarried woman, or someone living with their girlfriend or boyfriend before marriage. In fact, the majority of people in this country do not love Jesus! My concern in this is: Are we in danger of becoming too smug and self-righteous? Are we on the slippery slope of becoming like the Pharisee who is proud of how they don’t extort money, act unjustly, or commit adultery–how much holier we are because we tithe and fast? It was the religious leaders of the day who sneered at Jesus for “eating with tax collectors and sinners.”

In the case of the pastor, you are already supporting every kind of sin and vice in our country via its commercialism. Do you own an iPhone? Apple’s CEO, Tim Cook, is an openly gay man. Do you use the bathroom cleaner, Scrubbing Bubbles? It is produced by SC Johnson, a company that boasts it “has supported events that celebrate and engage the LGBTQ+ community for decades.” Have you watched the popular animation movie, Shrek? It was produced by DreamWorks, whose co-founder is gay billionaire David Geffen. Do you listen to SiriusXM Satellite Radio? Its creator is the trans woman Martine Rothblatt. You get my point by now. You’d have to withdraw from the world to prevent supporting the LGBTQ+ community altogether.

But, you see, where does it stop? Is it okay to tip an alcoholic when that money will most likely be used to buy more alcohol? Or the remarried divorcee because it supports her home? Or the young couple living together because it helps pay their electric bill? It seems like the root of the problem is that some sins are not visible, while others are readily apparent, and we tend to judge others based on outward appearances, not the heart. This is so true of the LGBTQ+ community in many instances. My question is why the indignant outcry against this type of sin only, and not these other types of sin? It could be said that it is because it attacks the family and God’s institution of marriage being between a man and a woman. Well, alcoholism, adultery, and sex before marriage all attack the family and violate God’s institution of marriage! How many of these sins contribute to the birth of unwanted babies? Brothers and sisters, this is an inequity. My heart says that this singling out of a particular sin in society is wrong: “For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God…” [Romans 3:22–23 ESV] “as it is written: “None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God.” [Romans 3:10–11 ESV]

So, while I can see a pastor walk out of an establishment to show his convictions are real, I asked myself if I would do the same. In light of the above, I would say “no.” I would somehow make the gospel known, perhaps give a tract to the baristas, invite them to church, perhaps ask them how they feel about the drag queen event, how they come to their conclusions–then present what the bible says about all sin, not just homosexuality. I think we have to be careful as Christians to not take great offense at what the unsaved do–they are spiritually dead:

“And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience– among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.” [Ephesians 2:1–3 ESV]

So, what is the answer? The gospel! While speaking about the Israelites of Moses’ time and the Jews in his time, Paul said, “But their minds were hardened. For to this day, when they read the old covenant, that same veil remains unlifted, because only through Christ is it taken away. Yes, to this day whenever Moses is read a veil lies over their hearts. But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed.” [2 Corinthians 3:14–16 ESV] This is applicable even in our society, because Paul argues in Romans that neither Jew nor Gentile are better off, that all have sinned. An unsaved person excuses their sin, and many times is unaware of its offensiveness to God. They are spiritually blind. It takes the gospel message and the conviction of the Holy Spirit to bring about change in a person’s heart: “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.” [Romans 1:16 ESV] We could write all the laws in the world to support righteous and moral living, but unless one is “born again,” they cannot see the Kingdom of God. [John 3:3, ESV] Only by the power of God and the Holy Spirit working in an unbeliever can they even recognize their lost state. In his first letter to the Corinthians cited above, Paul ends his warning against all those who sin in various ways: “And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” [1 Corinthians 6:11 ESV] Their lives were forever changed when they repented and believed the gospel.

Maybe it is because I lived a raunchy life before I came to Christ that I am filled with mercy for the lost. Others might feel differently about this topic, and to some extent it is a matter of conscience: “For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.” [Romans 14:23 ESV] But I ask myself: did the good Samaritan ask questions about the man he finds beaten and robbed? Is he attracted to the man because he looks to be pious, or rather, helpless, having no hope and without God in the world? [Eph 2:12] The road from Jerusalem to Jericho was quite dangerous, and people who travelled alone were easy targets for thieves. Some scholars think this otherwise unidentified man left for dead was Jewish, as that’s what those listening to Jesus would have assumed. The Jews considered Samaritans half-breeds and archenemies. Both the Jew and the Samaritan were most likely taking this particular route to avoid one another. Does the Samaritan let society’s hatred of his people excuse him from showing compassion? Did he think about how his money might support his skewed morals, or did he show mercy without judgement, because mercy triumphs over judgement? [James 2:13 ESV]

So, what if I found a homosexual who is beat up by the world and left for spiritual death? Would I help them out? Or would I pass by on the other side? In my estimation, instead of saying, I can’t tip someone who doesn’t love Jesus, I would say, I can’t love somebody if I don’t “tip” or share Jesus! How can anyone in our modern culture love Jesus if they don’t know what He did for them? “How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!”” [Romans 10:14–15 ESV] Also, “For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.” [Romans 13:9–10 ESV]

Whether it be a member of the LGBTQ+ community, or a voter in a different political party, or even an estranged and lost family member, wouldn’t it be wrong to withhold the gospel and real mercy from anyone in dire need? This is my prayerful conclusion: we sing about grace that is greater than all our sin, that no sin is too great for God to forgive. We preach it. Let’s also believe it. Let’s show mercy. Let’s “go, and do likewise.” Amen.