The Mercy at the Heart of the Golden Rule

“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” [Mat 7:12 ESV]

“And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.” [Luk 6:31 ESV]

“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.” [Luk 6:37-38 ESV]

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.” [Mat 7:1-2 ESV]

‘And he said to them, “Pay attention to what you hear: with the measure you use, it will be measured to you, and still more will be added to you. For to the one who has, more will be given, and from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.”‘ [Mar 4:24-25 ESV]

“Yet wisdom is justified by her deeds.” [Mat 11:19 ESV]

Reciprocity: noun  /ˌresɪˈprɒsɪti/ 1. a situation in which two individuals or groups agree to help each other by behaving in the same way or by giving each other similar advantages.

Reciprocity. It is a basic human desire, even an expectation, to be treated fairly and with respect. There are norms in every society that influence a person’s behavior, many unspoken, expectations for the return of a kindness done to another. Sometimes the kindness done is motivated by a selfish desire to receive some favor back, the “I’ll scratch your back, you scratch mine” philosophy. Sometimes. less obviously or even hidden from our own conscious recognition, a kindness is done in the hopes of fulfilling a deep need, such as love or friendship, the “if I do this thing, what will I gain and what will it cost?” type of mathematical evaluation of a social transaction. It’s almost like we do an unconscious risk assessment before interacting with another person. For example, a lightning quick thought like what if he doesn’t pay me back? or what if I tell her I love her and she rejects me? can pop into our minds. Many times these doubts are rooted in our insecurities or sense of fairness. Positive reciprocity expects the same in return.

What about negative reciprocity? It, too, expects the same in return. For example, sometimes people who want to do a bad thing, say, cheat on a spouse, will think to themselves, “I’m gonna do this thing and I don’t care about the fallout.” They know it will be bad. Conversely, negative reciprocity also tends to justify our mimicking of what was done to us. For the most part, it is taken for granted that if you are treated badly that you are justified to treat that person badly as well. It’s an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth type of principle at work. The worldly take on the Golden Rule is either “do unto others as they have done unto you,” or more cynically, “do unto others before they have done unto you.” It is human nature to feel compelled to return like for like, whether it be a volley of words or a series of actions like chess moves we need to “check.”

These are human ideas of reciprocity, but what does God teach us? In the books of Matthew and Luke cited above, Jesus told the crowds “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Over the past few centuries, this phrase has come to be known as the Golden Rule. No one knows exactly who coined it or when, but the name alludes to the fact that there is a divine and sublime rule of reciprocity for all followers of Jesus, and this rule is not pie in the sky wishful thinking, or a suggestion, but a command from our King and Savior. It is a standard of conduct the supersedes all human ideas of propriety. Jesus purposefully set the bar high so that we rely on the Holy Spirit to empower us to live as He did. He is the bar. For example, all the scriptures quoted at the beginning of this blog are sandwiched between some really hard sayings, such as: “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” [Luk 6:27-28 NIV]

What does loving your enemy look like? It may mean choosing to pray for your coworkers who make fun of your faith or try to get you in trouble because you follow Jesus. It may mean doing something kind, like giving a grumpy neighbor a gift card to eat out at a nice restaurant, that neighbor that hates you by extension because he hates your dog. It may be a harder matter like forgiving someone who has done you or your family physical harm. It may mean forgiving someone whom you deem isn’t worthy. Jesus went on to say, “But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.” [Luk 6:35 NIV] Remember what Jesus said on the cross? “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” [Luk 23:34 ESV] He said this while being crucified, while the soldiers were divvying up his clothes, while the religious leaders, guards, and even the two criminals crucified with him all scoffed and mocked. Peter sums this up by saying, “When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.” [1Pe 2:23 ESV]

Do you see the difference in godly reciprocity? It not only holds us back from doing evil to a neighbor, but spurs us on to do good to a neighbor, whether or not that neighbor is evil or indifferent. It expects nothing in return. We may not see any fruit come from a difficult situation this side of eternity, but for anyone who struggles with persecution or strife, please know “your reward is great” in Heaven:

“Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” [Mat 5:10-12 ESV]

In divine reciprocity, the Lord is our reward and rewarder, not man. Luke writes about this principle when recounting a time when Jesus instructed a leader of the Pharisees to not seek out repayment in the here and now: “He said also to the man who had invited him, “When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return and you be repaid. But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just.” [Luk 14:12-14 ESV] How much better then, to have our hearts set on pleasing God, who is perfectly just, shows bountiful mercy, and loves with a purity untainted by need or desire to be accepted by man. Did not Jesus say, “The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him?” [Jhn 8:29 NIV] When faced with a decision or course of action, do you strive beloved to seek His approval above that of your friends, your spouse, your children, your boss, your government, even your own self? If torn between two choices dear brothers and sisters, make your decision to stand with the Lord! I pray for the integrity to do this quite often, and for the rest of God’s church, because I know first-hand how hard it is to deny yourself–it feels painful! But there’s joy at the end of obedience:

“For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.” [Heb 12:11-14 ESV]

Now, I want to share with you a little background on the scripture in the Gospel of Luke cited above:

“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.” [Luk 6:37-38 ESV]

Jesus used this as a beautiful word picture that would be so familiar to people who bought and sold grain in bible lands. You see, they expected the bushel, the measuring vessel, to be so full it would spill over the sides. It was the custom of the day to fill the bushel to the top, then shake it a few times to settle it, creating extra room. The process would be repeated until the bushel was filled to the brim. Then the person would make a small hollow in the center of the grain, and fill it with extra handfuls until a cone was formed, and he would keep adding until the grain overflowed. This is the way our Lord illustrated how spiritual generosity begets generosity. But did you ever ask yourself, “Did He mean we would receive back the generosity of others, or of God?”

We can admit that being humble and kind when others are not does many times yield peaceable fruit: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” [Pro 15:1 ESV] Even the world recognizes the wisdom in this, but we can readily see by things like the lack of respect in the United States between our two major political parties, or gun violence and mass shootings, or even the divorce rate, that this wisdom is not put into practice. That is because carnal man cannot walk in the Spirit:

“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.” [Rom 8:5-8 ESV]

Because we are fickle and fallible, I tend to think Jesus had His Father more in mind when He spoke about reciprocity. Not only in the scriptures cited above, but also in the Beatitudes, Jesus taught: “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.” [Mat 5:7 ESV] Remember the parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:21-35? Here, the master decides to settle accounts with his slaves, and one was brought in to him owing ten thousand talents. Beloved, just one talent is twenty years’ wages. Ten thousand is 200,000 years’ wages! So this slave pleads with his master to be patient and promises to pay him back every cent so that he himself, his wife, his children, and whatever property he owned are not sold to make payment. The master has pity on him, knowing the impossibility of the slave’s situation, releases him, and forgives him the entire mind-boggling debt! A little later on, this amazingly forgiven man finds a fellow slave who owes him a hundred denarii. One denarius was a day’s wage, so the fellow slave owed him 100 days wages. He likewise pleads for mercy, but the unforgiving slave refuses and puts him in prison. When the master catches wind of this, he summons this unforgiving slave and points out his gross lack of compassion, and hands him over the the jailers until the debt is paid. The Greek word translated “jailers” here is actually torturer or tormentor, indicating not only imprisonment but physical punishment as well. And the account ends on this note: “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” [Mat 18:35 ESV] We can see from this parable how Jesus expects His mercy toward us to be imitated and reciprocated to others, and how the spiritual stinginess of one that is unwilling to show mercy to others is reciprocated by God.

I’ve already mentioned the reality that reciprocation of our kindness toward others is not a guarantee in this life. People are suffering unjustly all over the world, and we as Christians will suffer injustice for Christ, His Kingdom, and His word. Paul said, “Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.” [2Ti 3:12 ESV] It is not just a possibility–it is a promise. Paul even calls persecution and suffering our destiny in 1 Thessalonians 3:3-4. I want to encourage you all to make the decision to stand firm under all hardships, viewing integrity and faithfulness toward our Lord as an only option. I pray for you all to this end, and you would do well to also pray and prepare your hearts so as not to be shocked or surprised when trials and persecution come. Human reciprocation of our kindness is not guaranteed, however, the Lord’s reciprocation of our kindness is assured: “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.” [Jas 1:12 ESV]

I’d like to take a little time to point out that God’s reciprocity toward man and His expectation of our love to shine in the darkest places can in no way be thought of or likened to karma. First of all, karma is supposed to be an impersonal force in the universe that visits good or bad returns on all of our behavior. The very idea that it is a nameless, faceless force allows people to have no accountability to God. The fact that divine reciprocity is authored by our King of kings and Lord of lords makes it personal, profitable, and preeminent. Personal because reciprocity in the Kingdom is appropriately claimed by Someone who has a name: Jesus. Profitable because actually practicing its principles yields the beautiful fruit of peace, empathy, and love. Preeminent because there is no greater wisdom given to man on the subject. No wonder Jesus said that man must not live on bread alone, but every word that comes the mouth of God! Both the Bible and its Author can then be cherished for the priceless pearls they are.

I’ve also read stories and heard comments about karma, and they chill me to the bone because the supposed justice is so twisted. In one story I read, a young man was making a lot of fun of a female coworker for spending too much time in the bathroom. The older woman was spending so much time there because she had a bleeding problem and a lot of pain. At the end of this story the universe is so mad at this incredibly insensitive young man that his pregnant girlfriend hemorrhages out and she loses her baby. What kind of justice is this? What did the girlfriend do to deserve to suffer? What did the baby do to deserve to die? And we are supposed to believe that this ugly and spiteful type of force runs the world? God forbid!

What about our motivation? In a karma outlook on life, a person usually avoids doing something really bad out of fear of it being revisited on themselves, not out of fear that they will offend a holy God or harm another person. The focus is on the self, with little thought of others or their Maker. And how does it motivate one to do good? I’ve heard people who do good things say, “I guess I’ll see what the universe has to offer me.” Again, the good done is motivated by wanting good for themselves and even expecting it, the focus is on self, and not on our Creator or neighbor. Like I wrote previously, people often suffer unjustly. If karma were a correct ideology, what are we to think of the neighbor’s child who has cancer, the loving father of three who dies by gun violence, or even unborn babies, who know nothing of good or evil, being torn apart in the womb during abortions? What are we to think of Jesus’ own suffering? In karmic reciprocity, the overarching principle is that everyone deserves what they get. In divine reciprocity, the overarching principle is that we get what we don’t deserve: forgiveness when our sins are as high as a 200,000-year mountain of debt, dignity when we are restored as children of God, and eternal life with our precious Savior. Such divine love always turns the wisdom of man on its head. Amen.

“For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.” [Jas 2:13 ESV]